God's Little Girl

Picture by Lori Starnes

Young Girl what is wrong?
You've been torn, talked about and that's wrong
Don't Cry, dry those pretty brown eyes
This is your song, your God's Lil. Girl
Care for yourself and never let that boy get you down
Stay young and don't try to be a woman to quick
Cause if you do, they will treat you like a trick.

Never let that man take over
Respect yourself, your mind, body and face
Girl you are "Gods" gift to this human race
Important is what you are
So never forget that
Don't make yourself that clown

Mistreatment is not your test, so don't feel stressed
Showing your body, settling for less
Get you killed is that what you want
No! Remember you are God's Lil. Girl

Be strong young ladies, for the strength is within you
Tell yourself I love me for me
No one can still your joy, because you're God's little girl.

Darkness

WrittenBy Anshia B. Tull

**(Please note this is only a poem, I havent lived this situation, so I'm blessed to say that, but I also write for friends that have. I painted this character from a conversation i had with a young lady trying to make it through)**

I’m young and I’m stuck in a world
With no one to love me
Stuck in a world where it seems that
I'm ugly, judged and at any moment
Ready to expire my life
I have no purpose for being here right?

Stuck alone so I turn to drugs, I turn to lust
In men and I can't quite comprehend who I am
So I say call me darkness, I see nor feel any
Glow of light surrounding me
My light stays dim and I beg and plead
For people to call me darkness

My daddy left me and my mommy
Constantly abused me, so verbally that my mental
Seemed to constantly ring sounds of hatred
I constantly scream
Why did you plan for me and by the time you birth me you didn’t want me
Your post partum depression has affected me into my early twenties


So I walk around looking like a clown
As well as the drugs immersing in me
As defined I am absence or deficiency of light

I am darkness

The world doesn’t see me and I only awake
In negative things so it seems I'm darkness
I wonder what my expiration date is going to be
Can I speed that up quickly or do I wait and pray for change

I've been waiting
Waiting since I was born to escape
What seemed to be everyone else’s utopian society?
What people didn’t know it was not all that it was cracked up to be

If someone had only listened
Listened to me cry in the rain
Listened to me starve when mommy didn’t want to feed me
Listened to me scream when he decided to rape me

If only someone had listened
If someone had only cared
I wouldn't have escaped This life by Killing Me

**Pause that thought**

As I wake in my hospital bed
God spoke to me in my dreams and he shed light
He tells me it will be ok
So I pray and he says I will never leave you and please don’t forsake me
I will bring peace and light will shine
You will no longer be stuck in darkness
Nor will they call you darkness

You will be blessed my child and I will never leave you lonely
Just believe in me he says. I then say
I love you lord and I don’t want to live in my darkness!!

I want to live in your light and live to see a better day!
Therefore I'm no longer darkness

Longest Train Ride

Today was the longest train ride of my life..

Only by my mental state, you see the last ride was with him.

So as I ride I cry, because the feeling instantly brings me back.

For the love still holds strong but we will never be again, because of bad judgements made on both parts.

This feeling has been here before but now I have a feeling this will linger long and I am the sadness to this train ride.

This has to be the longest train ride of my life.

Many shattered expectation of things that were suppose to be,

For now in this moment it won't be.

So as I cry on this train ride,

I realize this will be a long winter,

maybe the coldest winter ever and at times

I don't even know where I am going.

I just keep praying that I will get to that destination.

A destination that could turn back the hands of time.

A destination where you feel good and safe inside.

A destination that doesn't make u hurt others or others hurt you.

Could this train ride be taken me there?

I don't believe so, because time can never go back, it can only go forward.

So as this continues to be my longest train ride.

I will always cherish the many moments and remember the good with the bad.

We once were, and now we will can't be, and the memories we shared makes this my longest train ride.

Forgive, live, learn and Press towards the finish line. Be thankful for all the good that was received.

Actions

When they drift away
You can't not cry and say I miss thee
You see as the sun rises
You start remembering the prize that you lost.

For the heart becomes bitter
For the one you love
Is now gone so you ponder
You toss, you turn and wonder
What are you to do now

For they left in the autumn and decided not to look back
You tap your fingers swiftly on the table
You feel as if someone punched the wind out of you.
Your heartbroken, but their torn as well
They will feel scorn for the agony that has been caused then your
left saying you never miss a good thing until its gone