Darkness

WrittenBy Anshia B. Tull

**(Please note this is only a poem, I havent lived this situation, so I'm blessed to say that, but I also write for friends that have. I painted this character from a conversation i had with a young lady trying to make it through)**

I’m young and I’m stuck in a world
With no one to love me
Stuck in a world where it seems that
I'm ugly, judged and at any moment
Ready to expire my life
I have no purpose for being here right?

Stuck alone so I turn to drugs, I turn to lust
In men and I can't quite comprehend who I am
So I say call me darkness, I see nor feel any
Glow of light surrounding me
My light stays dim and I beg and plead
For people to call me darkness

My daddy left me and my mommy
Constantly abused me, so verbally that my mental
Seemed to constantly ring sounds of hatred
I constantly scream
Why did you plan for me and by the time you birth me you didn’t want me
Your post partum depression has affected me into my early twenties


So I walk around looking like a clown
As well as the drugs immersing in me
As defined I am absence or deficiency of light

I am darkness

The world doesn’t see me and I only awake
In negative things so it seems I'm darkness
I wonder what my expiration date is going to be
Can I speed that up quickly or do I wait and pray for change

I've been waiting
Waiting since I was born to escape
What seemed to be everyone else’s utopian society?
What people didn’t know it was not all that it was cracked up to be

If someone had only listened
Listened to me cry in the rain
Listened to me starve when mommy didn’t want to feed me
Listened to me scream when he decided to rape me

If only someone had listened
If someone had only cared
I wouldn't have escaped This life by Killing Me

**Pause that thought**

As I wake in my hospital bed
God spoke to me in my dreams and he shed light
He tells me it will be ok
So I pray and he says I will never leave you and please don’t forsake me
I will bring peace and light will shine
You will no longer be stuck in darkness
Nor will they call you darkness

You will be blessed my child and I will never leave you lonely
Just believe in me he says. I then say
I love you lord and I don’t want to live in my darkness!!

I want to live in your light and live to see a better day!
Therefore I'm no longer darkness